Unwillingly changed
by RubyReem19
Summary: What would happen if Edward hadn't been able to control himself? Visiting her room late at night after meeting Bella for the first time, Edward finds his thirst uncontrollable and ends up biting her. Seeing this, Alice and the others race to Bella's aid and stop Edward from making the biggest mistake of his life. How will Bella cope becoming something she knew nothing about?
1. Chapter 1

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I was woken by the most excruciating pain I had ever felt, fire burning my hand, racing up my arm, spreading all around my body. I writhed in agony. Turning my head towards the right my eyes gazed down to my wrist, there upon my pale skin was a blood stained half crescent bite, what was this? Had someone bit me? Why the hell would they do that? And why was it producing me with so much pain? A snarl then broke out and my eyes slowly, almost unwillingly, moved toward my window, there I saw Edward Cullen crouched low his face a picture of menace and longing, blood dripping from the corner of his lips, he was being held back by a man I did not know but had the same pale skin and golden eyes as the others, and one of Edwards bothers I think, Emmett maybe, both of who's faces were equally carved with worry and anguish, a girl the one called Alice was standing between them and me, her face almost unreadable. Why were they here in my room? How did they get in? What was happening to me? I tried to focus on her but I was slipping away, my subconscious state was pulling me deeper and deeper until I no longer felt the pain.

"I'm so sorry Bella" muffled words filtered through my subconscious I felt a coldness on my hand but I was not fully awake or aware to hear or feel anything else, the pain was still there, torturing me. When would it be over? I was eager for death; I couldn't cope with this anymore. With death would come solace. It would be over.

I thought about what I saw before I became unconscious, why had Edward bit me? That was not a normal thing to do, even for forks. My mind just couldn't fathom what had happened. How would a bite from a boy do this to me, I didn't understand. My mind was then taken over by the pain once more and all I could feel was the burn throughout my body, it seemed to be concentrating on my throat, I felt so parched. I needed water.

**Let me know what you think and whether I should carry on. Much appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 1 part 2

"Carlisle, why didn't you help her? Why didn't you suck the venom out of her?" Strained voices entered my subconscious

"Edward, we couldn't have done so, maybe if we got to her sooner we could have saved her from this. But we arrived too late. You made the split decision, you didn't plan this. We came as soon as Alice saw what you were about to do, if we tried to draw out the venom we would have lost her, you took a lot of her blood, you almost killed her son."

I heard the ruffle of clothes and my mind pictured Carlisle putting his hand on Edwards shoulder to comfort him. Their words slowly filtered into my psyche, _if we tried to draw out the venom we would have lost her, _I couldn't quite contemplate what I was hearing. Had I been injected with some kind of spider or snake venom? I never imagined it would be as excruciating as like what I was experiencing now. I've heard of people being bitten but they've never expressed or described this sort of pain, surely it would be the first thing you tell someone. I remembered back to where the source of the pain had originated from, my wrist, the shape of the half crescent moon bite lingered in my mind; it closely resembled a bite of a human. Edwards face then flashed in front of my closed eyelids, the blood dripping down from the corner of his lips and the longing in his eyes. Edward had bit me, but why were he and Carlisle talking about venom? My mind was swirling with both confusion and pain, both struggling for my attention. I tried to focus on the confusion to try and figure out what was happening to me but I couldn't, the pain won out in the end.

"It's been three days, Carlisle." I recognised Edwards's soft words as if they were my own, for someone so terrifying he had the most inviting melody to his voice.

"Why hasn't she woken up?" Three days, it's been three days. Charlie then came to my mind. Where was Charlie I hadn't heard his voice at all, surely he was questioning why the Cullen's were in my room and in his house. Had he not heard my screams, they without a doubt would have alarmed him and had him running to me.

"She's been so still and silent; do you think the morphine helped her? Do you think she didn't feel the pain?" Edwards's voice was becoming more strained and drenched with worry.

"We won't know anything for sure until she wakes; that's if she's willing to share with us of course. I do hope that the morphine eased her suffering. She will need time to adjust to this; I think it's best if you're not here when she wakes, Edward." Carlisle spoke softly and calmly.

**Authors notes: I'm trying to update regularly, but let me know if you would prefer to wait longer for lengthier chapters, also please review and let me know what you think :)**


	3. Chapter 1 part 3

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Several things happened at once, one morphing into the other so that I didn't know which came first. The morphine Carlisle had given me started to wane; I could feel more of myself, I could wriggle my toes and clench my hands into fists. I was feeling stronger which I found rather strange. I had no idea what was happening to me but to be in this sort of unimaginable pain would not lead me to getting stronger, would it? Surely I would be weak and vulnerable. I focused on my frantic, pounding heartbeat; it seemed to be strained under the weight of my suffering. I counted each beat to try and count the minutes, Edward seemed to think that I should have been awake already, they must know what's wrong with me and what's happening but why weren't they doing anything to help me?

"What do you see Alice?" Carlisle's voice interrupted my thoughts "How will she take it? What's the best way to handle this?"

"It's hard to say Carlisle, I can't see what she's going to choose to do, whether she will stop and listen or run away from us all I know is that we don't have to wait to much longer to find out, she will be awake in a few hours"

A few hours… and then I would wake up, how did she know this. She must just be guessing no one could see the future.

While I burned I continued to listen to my heart beat and wait, I didn't know what I was waiting for but that didn't matter, I was stuck here, there was nothing else I could do.

The pain started to fade, fading slowly, but at least it was doing something new. This had to be it. The pain was on its way out. I was going to wake up. But as the pain faded within my body the fire in my throat amplified, I was so thirsty, I'd never been this thirsty in my life before, but I didn't somehow feel that water was the source I was craving. The fire in my heart intensified creating even more pain, I didn't think I had anything left of me, I just wanted to die, to never have been born. "Carlisle," Alice called. Carlisle entered, "Ah, It's almost over." "Should I get the others? Or do you think you should just be the one here when she wakes up?" Alice asked. "I will stay you go find the others and let them know Bella is awake, stay within hearing range as I may need some help if she becomes uncontrollable, she will be a lot stronger than all of us." Carlisle's words hit me _uncontrollable, stronger than all of us, _I just didn't understand at all, such a horrible feeling not knowing. My heart took off, beating like helicopter blades, the sound like a single continuation of one beat, a single sustained note. I didn't know how much more my heart could take, at any moment now it could stop and I would be dead. Just as I thought the words my heart stuttered twice, and then thudded quietly again just once more. There was no sound, no more heart beat, I must have died. I must be dead. No breathing. Not even mine. For a moment, the absence of pain was all I could comprehend.

**Let me know how you think the story is going so far and where you think I should go from here. Should Bella stay and listen or should she run away. Review and let me know thanks :)**


	4. Chapter 2 part 1

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"Open your eyes, Bella" I recognised Carlisle sweet melodic tone. Was this heaven? Or was I in hell? I couldn't hear the beat of my heart anymore so there was no way I was still alive. Charlie and Renée would be heartbroken. As my thoughts turned to them I felt so lost, how had I been so stupid, why did I have to go and die and leave poor Charlie and Renée alone. Only then did I realise that I had been holding my breath involuntary, so I took a gulp of air but what my body experienced was so alien to me, I didn't feel like myself at all. Instead of feeling relief and the expansion of my chest from the breath I just took, the action felt wrong. It was like my lungs didn't need the air, they weren't waiting for it. I was definitely dead. But then with the air came the taste of the room around me, the mix of stagnant air mingling from the air from the open window, I could feel the air coming through from my left, I could hear the wind lightly pushing against the net curtain trying to gain access into the room. I was feeling too many things at once; it was easy to get distracted. But I knew a couple of these for certain, I didn't have a heartbeat, I didn't need to breath (but I liked to) and I now had super hearing. It was way too much to deal with, was it like this for everyone when they've passed on?

I decided I needed to open my eyes. So I did. I was not ready for what I saw. As I lay on what seemed to be a hospital bed I looked up. Everything was so clear, sharp, defined. The brilliant light overhead was blinding-bright but yet I could plainly see the glowing strands of the filaments inside the bulb. Every colour of the rainbow could be seen, there was even an eighth colour that I had no name for. Behind the light, I could distinguish the individual grains in the dark wood ceiling above. Something touched me, a hand placed on my shoulder, my body locked down in surprise. After the first second of frozen shock my body responded, which shocked me even more. My body recoiled, I flipped of the bed, twisting away from the unknown, air hissing up from my throat, spitting through my clenched teeth. What was this? I stopped and my hands flew to my mouth, what the hell was coming out of my lips.

"Please, Bella don't be alarmed, you're perfectly safe here. No one will hurt you. We haven't been formally introduced yet, I'm Dr Carlisle Cullen" he extended his right hand out slowly towards me. I looked into his eyes, a light golden colour, they seemed sincere. He was being truthful. I felt embarrassed at my overreaction to his touch, but my body had been triggered uncontrollably. I went to walk over to Dr Cullen but instead of walking slowly like normal, I moved with incredible speed and had to stop almost immediately so I didn't knock into him. I was completely overwhelmed.

"What is wrong with me?" Huh, that wasn't my voice it sounded more like singing, my voice rang like a bell. Was there nothing that hadn't changed, I wasn't feeling anything at all like I did before I was bitten. What had happened to me? I needed answers.

**Authors notes: I'm trying to upload as soon as I can, I hope you are enjoying reading this story as much as I am enjoying writing it :) please review and let me know how you think the story is going. Thanks.**


	5. Chapter 2 part 2

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"Am I dead?" the melody of my voice still surprised me; I looked up at Carlisle as he took a moment to answer my question. His face seemed torn, he was in deep thought, deliberating. I watched him, I don't know why but I felt safe with Carlisle, even though I didn't know him at all. I knew deep down that he wasn't going to harm me. He had such a kind face, a face of a doctor, a face you could trust. He made me feel at ease. Nonetheless one thing stuck in my mind, the words Carlisle spoke while I burned, _she will be a lot stronger than all of us_, I felt nothing like my old self, I did feel strong. I knew I could handle myself if I needed to.

"Bella, I am truly sorry for what you've been put through. I know you must have so many questions. I just don't know where to begin" he paused, I was eager for answers but what I heard next I don't think I would have ever been ready for.

"Bella, your body has been through certain modifications, adjustments if you will to what was introduced into your system by Edward. I must tell you that he deeply regrets what he has done to you; I don't think he will ever forgive himself. But in time I hope you will understand and maybe absolve him of his transgression. I know you must be in discomfort from the thirst so I will try and explain to you what you have become as quickly as possible."

_Thirst, _only then did I feel the intensity of the burn within my throat. It was extremely raw, but what was I thirsting for, what did I need to quench my desire. Carlisle answered my question without me having to even ask it.

"The thing you are longing for most right now is blood, Bella. You will always be yearning for blood as it is the only form of nutrition our kind needs to stay alive. You have probably heard of our kind before but I doubt you ever truly thought or believed that we ever existed. We are in many stories and tales from all around the world, we have many names. But the one name I am sure you have heard of before is vampire, the blood drinker. Bella, you are now one of us, you have been transformed. Three days, that was all it took for you to become one of us." I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing, was this true, was I a monster too.

"We, of course are not like your typical vampire, we do not prey on innocent human lives, we instead turn to animals to sustain ourselves. We do not believe in taking an individual's life away from them. But what has happened to you I have never seen in my 300 years, never have I seen a vampire want someone's blood as much as Edward wanted yours, I do not condone what he has done to you, you did not deserve this life you have now, but I can never understand the struggle he had to go through, to stop, unwillingly must have been unimaginable. I know this is a lot to take in; I too struggled to come to terms with what I had become many, many years ago. My family and I are here for you nonetheless, when you are ready, whether that being now or sometime in the future, we are here to talk too I'm sure there are still a million unanswered questions you have."

My mind was swirling a million miles a minute, instead of being a blur and everything not making sense like it would if I was still human, things were slotting into place. But no, it couldn't be true, vampires didn't exist. They were just a figment of someone's imagination, characters from stories, creatures of myth. The two sides of my brain were fighting each other, logically this couldn't be true. Vampires didn't exist, this wasn't a fantasy world I was living in this was reality. It must all just be one sick joke, but then the other side of my brain the emotional side was taking a completely different view on the situation, it took into account my feelings, that fact I felt different, stronger and the thirst, oh the thirst why did it have to torment me, I knew I needed to quench it but no, I pushed that thought aside I couldn't be dealing with that right now. This could not be happening, but there was no denying it I was different. I had changed.

**Authors notes: This part took me a little longer as I needed to decide how Carlisle was going to tell Bella and how she would react. I hope I did an okay job in telling this section of the story, please review and let me know what you think. I tried making it longer but I just like you guys to read the parts as soon as I've finished them, thanks for reading. Please review as I love reading your comments :) **


	6. Chapter 2 part 3

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Maybe everything Carlisle had told me was the truth, maybe I was now this mythical creature that thirsted for blood, that felt strong enough to break a house, that could hear for miles and see the tiny little dust mites flying through the air.

A memory came to surface, though it was blurred and undefined as it was seen through my old human eyes, it was of the Cullen's, seeing them for the first time, their elegance, their beauty. A thought came to my mind, did I too look like them. For my own sake I hoped that I didn't, how was I going to explain to Charlie the fact that I looked completely different? I needed to see what I looked like but I was too afraid.

My thoughts were interrupted then by the footsteps of someone climbing the stairs, it was such a quite sound that I wasn't even sure how I heard it, or that I even had. But no it was there, the tiniest brush of shoes against the wood of the stairs, well it sounded like it was wood, being as there was the smallest creak on the last step. It sounded to me like they were trying to move much slower than they actually could normally. Moving slowly as to not scare or alarm anyone. Maybe whoever it was were trying not to startle me, like they didn't want me to panic. Well I was a stranger in this house, a house openly full of vampires, vampires I knew nothing about. There was a knock at the door

"Come in, Alice" Carlisle spoke. I had forgotten for a moment that he was still standing there, being patient. Even with me thinking through every detail of what he had said to me, only a few seconds had passed. With Carlisle's words Alice opened the door and entered, she moved with such grace and refinement, her body looked like it was dancing. I glanced at her face, pixie-like; thin with small features. Her hair was deep black, cropped short and pointing in every direction. She was beautiful. She walked directly over to me and hugged me, I was taken aback. I felt the urge to back away, to push her off me; the smallest sound broke through my teeth, like a low snarl. But she didn't stop hugging me, I was surprised by my sudden reaction to her, she wasn't going to hurt me so why did I feel the need to protect myself.

"Hello, Bella. We are going to be the best of friends, don't you worry" Her voice was like a thousand bells all merging together to make this one unique and elegant sound.

"Alice, please be careful. Don't frighten Bella, we don't want her to hurt anyone or run away" Carlisle's words shocked me; I wasn't the one who was going to hurt anyone.

"Oh don't worry Carlisle, Bella is doing fine, she and I are going to be like sisters" Alice then let go of me and grabbed my hand, pulling slightly she lead me across the room,

"Come on Bella, I'm sure your dying to see what you look like." She turned and smiled at me showing her perfectly straight white teeth. She placed me in front of the full length mirror, I was still afraid to see myself, what if I didn't look at all like me, I wasn't ready for this.

I stared in front of me; surely this wasn't a mirror I was looking into. A beautiful woman with terrifying eyes stared back at me, we were both searching, I was looking for some resemblance of myself, I wasn't quite sure what she was looking for. I turned my head toward Alice; she walked to my side and stood at my right. I turned my head back and there was Alice in the mirror. So I was the woman with the eyes. As I examined her looking for pieces of me, there was something there in the shape of her lips – only if you looked past the dizzying beauty would you see it. Her upper lip was slightly out of balance, a bit too full to match the lower. Finding this familiar little flaw made me feel a tiny bit better. Maybe the rest of me was in there, too just hidden away. _I don't think I will ever get used to seeing this as my reflection._

"Bella, Edward wants to apologize for what has happened I'm sure you've heard from Carlisle how dreadful he feels, he wants to explain to you himself why he did it. That's if you will let him, will you Bella?" I could see the anguish on her face, I knew she wanted me to forgive her brother but I wasn't sure how I felt about Edward, was I angry at him? Was I scared of him? I remembered when I first saw him how extremely beautiful he was, but then I remembered the look he gave me, _if looks could kill_, that was what I thought when he stared at me. The image of the longing in his eyes and the blood dripping from his lips, my blood entered my mind. Did I want to confront him and shout and scream at him and say why have you done this to me, why? But that wouldn't help either of us. It would just hurt us both. My mind was torn, but I knew I needed to speak to him. I nodded at Alice and she smiled and clapped her hands together

"Are you sure you want to see him Bella?" Carlisle asked "There's no need to rush."

"I'm sure." That's all I could say to Carlisle but I wasn't sure at all.

"We will leave you alone, to talk. He will be up shortly, if you need anything don't hesitate to ask" I smiled in Carlisle's direction, not fully meeting his eyes, I didn't want him to see the fear I felt at the thought of being alone in a room with Edward, with the man who had took my life from me.

**Author's notes: I'd just like to say a big thank you to everyone who is reading my story and reviewing it, it really means a lot to me. I'm really starting to fall in love with writing and telling this story. I hope you are enjoying it so far, please review and let me know what you think, Thanks again :) **


	7. Chapter 3 part 1

I walked toward the window at the far end of the room, looking out I saw the edge of the forest, I felt the wind on my face it wasn't cold like I was expecting, it was warm and with it came the smells of the forest, the bark of the trees, the dampness of the leaves. I heard him come into the room from behind me, I didn't have the strength to turn and look at him.

"Bella? Please don't be afraid, I'm so sorry for what I have done to you" His voice was like velvet, melting honey, it had the most beautiful melody to it but yet I could still hear the underlying hurt and anguish in his words

I turned and faced him; my heart would have stopped if it were beating. Edwards face caught my eye, his angled jaw, the perfectly sculptured lines to his face with his high cheek bones and straight nose. His perfect full lips pressed together in worry. I had never truly looked at Edward before, or actually seen him, because if I had I don't think I would have ever been able to look away. He was beautiful. His eyes a deep shade of honey gold gazed deeply into mine, searching.

My mind was full of conflicting thoughts and emotions, I felt something for Edward that was apparent but then I kept thinking that I should not have these feelings for him as he was the one who had done this to me. Changed me unwillingly, he never even gave us a chance, me a chance. He gave up on us the moment his teeth sank into my pale skin. He took away my life, but in return handed me this strange and incredible new one.

"You are so beautiful" Edwards's words touched my heart, warming it, if that were even possible. Even though we had never spoken or spent any time together when I was human I felt this bond with him, this connection. I was extremely aware that his lips, his teeth had pierced my skin and that his venom had coursed through my veins and my body, and made me what I was today. He had changed me in a way no one else ever could. But I needed him to explain, I needed some kind of explanation as to why he did this to me. Why he couldn't control himself and why I was the one he changed. That was the question, why me I wasn't special at all.

"Bella I know I have a lot of explaining to do, and I don't expect you to ever forgive me. I will never forgive myself and there's no way I can justify my actions to you, all I can say is that I'm weak and a monster for what I have done to you. I should never have come to your house at night; I never should have allowed myself to enter your room when you were sleeping. I thought I'd have the strength to resist you, I should never have tested myself as you were the one I put at risk. And look at what I have done to you… I just… I'm so sorry Bella." I knew I should have been angry at him, but it was a lot to take in, and seeing him in front of me now, hurting. I just couldn't deal with that. It was strange but it hurt me to see him hurting.

Deep down I knew I had already forgiven Edward; I knew he was repentant and that this, what I had become, was not something he wanted for me. It was an accident. I was just going to have to live with this and so was he. I walked over to him, making sure I was slower in my movements, and said the four words that were so honest and true that I surprised even myself with their sincerity.

"Edward, I forgive you." We stared at each other, our eyes gazing deep into one another's. We stood like this for a couple of seconds. I don't know what he found in my eyes but I knew that he realised I was being truthful as his face turned away from mine and I saw the sorrow in his eyes.

"Bella, I don't deserve your forgiveness. You can't just give it to me, you're so quick to offer it me but you haven't truly thought through the enormity of this whole situation, do you know what you are Bella, do you know what this now means for you. Your life is over because of me."

Something Edward said while I was burning came to my mind, _why didn't you suck the venom out of her_, I knew that he would never forgive himself for what he had done but was that because now he thought he owed me something, did he regret changing me, would he of rather me die than to become like him. Because then he wouldn't be stuck with me. Was that what he was regretting, the fact that if he did bite me, he would have preferred me dead than to turn into a vampire frozen in time. He regretted it because now he thought I would stay with him and he would have to put up with me forever. Well no, if that was how he felt I would go off on my own, I wouldn't stay where I wasn't wanted. Now I knew why he didn't want my forgiveness, because with it came me.

"I can't let you forgive me, I won't let you. I'm sorry Bella. I need to leave, I'm going away for a while, Carlisle and Alice and the rest of my family are here for you…"

"Edward, no I'm not going to be the reason why you can't be with your family. I know you regret me becoming like you, I know you would have preferred me dead but this is just the way it is. I'm sorry that Carlisle couldn't suck the venom out of me, I'm sorry that I didn't just die. I'm sorry that you think you're now stuck me with forever, but you're not. I'm leaving!" And before my words had even settled in the air and he had time to react I was across the room and out the window and running full speed through the forest. I had no idea where I was headed but anywhere away from Edward sounded good to me.

**Author's notes: Please review and let me know what you think thanks :)**


	8. Chapter 3 part 2

I was aware someone was following me; they were catching up to me because they were much faster than I was. My instincts took control and I suddenly halted and quickly turned to face my opponent. As I took a defensive stance venom rose in my throat and air hissed through my clenched teeth. But I knew this was an overreaction because all I saw in front of me was Edward. Of course he would run after me, he wouldn't want me leaving when I was angry at him. He wouldn't want me to do something that I would regret or that would leave blood on his hands. I straightened up and turned and started to walk away from him, he grabbed my arm to try to stop me.

"Please, Bella." I spun around and pushed his shoulder away from me, his hand flew off mine as he soared through the air. He hit into a tree that was a few metres away from where I was standing and destroyed it completely breaking it cleanly in half. I was in complete shock, what had I done. Edward may have regretted changing me but he would never hurt me. I couldn't quite believe what had just happened. I rushed over to Edward's side.

"Oh, Edward I'm so sorry I don't know what came over me. I'm not used to being so strong." My heart ached, how could I do this to someone, especially to Edward.

"It's my fault Bella; I should know better than to sneak up on a new born, your instincts will of course take over. I just needed to stop you; you need to know the truth." He stood quickly

"Bella, do you really think I would rather you be dead than be one of us? I regret that Carlisle couldn't suck the venom out because you should have stayed human, that's what I wanted for you, to be human, to have a soul, to have a life, not to become a monster. But I've had time to think and of course I didn't want you to die, but for you to live you had to change. I can live with that. It was necessary, and Bella I don't feel like I'm going to be stuck with you, I want to be with you, I want for us to be together. There's nothing I want more in this world than you, forever,"

The last words he spoke lingered in my mind, _there's nothing I want more in this world than you, forever_, I didn't know what to say but I knew I felt the same. His hand reached down to my chin so he could lift my lips up towards his, this was our first kiss and it was perfect. As our lips touched we both melted together, pressing against each other. We didn't need to stop for breath; we didn't need to stop at all. Our mouths moved together in sync I could taste his sweet scent on my tongue, I'd never felt like this before. I wound my fingers through his hair and pushed his month harder into mine, his hand reached up to my face and our mouths parted slightly so he could speak.

"Hey, Bella. You're a lot stronger than I am, you need to be careful with me." he smiled the kind of smile that would have stopped my heart if it were still beating.

"Oops, sorry." My hand reached up to Edwards face and I stroked his cheek, he was so extremely beautiful. And this beautiful creature wanted me, forever, and I him.

"We need to get your thirst under control Bella." The moment Edward said the word the fire in my throat burned with such intensity that the only thing on my mind was the need to quench it, my hands reached up to my throat as to try to extinguish the flames.

"Yeah, you'll need to hunt." Allowing my instincts to take over, Edward led me deeper into the forest.

"Close your eyes, what do you hear?" As I closed my eyes my hearing intensified, Edwards perfect voice, his breath, his lips brushing together as he spoke, and then I could hear all the wonders of the forest, the whisper of birds preening their feathers in the treetops, their fluttering heartbeats, the maple leaves scraping together, the faint clicking of ants, the heartbeats of said ants, in symphony with the molecules and cells that made up the ants' hearts, gently bumping against each other in rhythm, as their protons and neutrons continued their quiet motion, echoing in my ears.

I could hear the call of an owl which was about a mile away on the branch of a tree, I could also hear the sounds of the little creatures that habited the forest floor, a squirrel taking care of its own hunger and then the object of my desire caught my attention, I could hear the blood pumping through its veins, I could even smell it, I made a face

"It doesn't smell too good."

"The herbivores yes, but the meat-eaters smell more like humans, there a bit easier to hunt" He explained.

"Try to ignore the smell and just go with your instincts."

I knew what I needed to do; I opened my eyes and I raced to where the deer was grazing, I watched as it continued feeding. I grew closer, I was ready. I pounced and took down the deer with ease; I sank my teeth into its neck and drank the offerings.

"Bella, that was amazing, you're a natural." Edward's words made me smile, maybe now I had a purpose in life; I've always felt out of step with the world, literally stumbling through life. I've never felt normal because I'm not, and I don't want to be. Maybe this was what I was born to do.

My time as a human was over but I never felt more alive.

Edward and I spent the day together, running and hunting in the forest, I never knew this sort of life existed in the one I was in, because if I did I would have wanted it. All Edward did was just accelerate the inevitable. If he didn't bite me three days ago then he would have bitten me eventually. I don't know what sort of life we would have had if I was with Edward when I was still human, but it would have definitely included me becoming like him at some point. I needed to share this with him, the fact that I wanted to be with him forever and the fact that this was meant to happen. I could feel it. The connection between us was stronger than ever and no one would ever come between us, nothing would tear us apart, or so I thought.

**Please review and let me know how you think the story is going so far, thanks :)**


	9. Chapter 3 part 3

"How did I get here?" Edward and I were back at his we were talking in his room, I hadn't met the rest of the Cullen's yet apart from Carlisle and Alice. Edward was explaining to me what happened after I was bitten, I was curious but I could see the pain in his eyes as he recalled what happened.

"After I had my thirst under control, which didn't take long at all because when I saw you, in pain I immediately thought only of you and my thirst left me, Emmett and I carried you here. Carlisle then gave you the morphine and then I watched in horror as you stopped moving. I couldn't bear it. The thought of you hurting, in agony because of me was intolerable."

I placed my hand on his to comfort him, so they carried me here, what about Charlie. I didn't remember hearing his voice as I burned. Does he know his daughter is no longer his daughter, does he know what has happened.

"Charlie, what does he know?" My voice was strained; I'd been so absorbed in my own life, so enthralled with the change and with Edward that I had completely forgotten about Charlie.

"Charlie doesn't know anything about your transformation, Bella. Humans aren't allowed to know about our existence, it's one of our absolute laws, the only one that's regularly enforced by the Volturi."

"The Volturi?" I asked

"Yes, the Volturi are a very old, very powerful family. I guess there the closest thing we have to royalty, Carlisle lived with them for a few decades, and he described them as very refined, having no respect for human life of course, but having respect for the arts and sciences at least and naturally the law."

"So where does Charlie think I am now, surely he has realised I've not been there for three days?"

Edwards face looked worried; he was making me worried, what had they told Charlie.

"Charlie thinks your back home in Phoenix, with Renée. Alice left a note for Charlie and took some of your things and your truck; she's been ringing him pretending to be you so he didn't feel the need to follow you. She's also rung him imitating your mother so Charlie doesn't contact her and find out that she isn't actually with you, it's all worked out quite well, but we can't keep this up forever. I'm sorry Bella but the only way to keep them safe is to tell them that you're dead."

Tell Charlie and Renée that I was dead, that would crush them and how, would I have to play dead in the coffin, hear as my family cry over my stone cold body, let them have one last look at me before I would be out of their lives forever. I don't think I would have the strength to do that. But could I do it to keep them safe, to keep them alive. Because if they found out I was a vampire there would be severe consequences for them. Could I put them at risk like that, could I willingly give them a death sentence? No, Edward was right we would have to tell them I was dead.

"We will do it tomorrow." The thought of hurting Charlie and Renée was insufferable but the thought of them being in danger was a lot worse.

I didn't know how this was going to work though, how were we going to explain my death? An accident of course but what sort of accident. There would be no evidence of anything happening because it hadn't really happened, would the Cullen's be able to create the proof and confirmation Charlie would need. I thought it over repeatedly, could I really do this. I was struggling with myself. I didn't want to lose them, I wanted to have them both in my life but then I didn't want anything bad to happen to them because of me. Now that would be something I couldn't live with.

Edward and I discussed what things needed to be set in place before Charlie and Renée heard about my impending death. It was going to be a car accident, something that was so common and could happen to anyone that no one would feel the need to question it. I'd be driving back to Forks when I'd lose control of my truck and veer off the road down the cliff edge into the trees below. Edward and Carlisle would be driving past and see what had happened. Carlisle being a doctor did everything he could to save me but I didn't make it, I died. Carlisle taking care of everything on the medical side, like taking my body away and so forth would then break the news to Charlie. And that was that. But it didn't feel right at all.

"We need to speak to Carlisle so the plans can be put in motion." Edward took my hand and pressed it to his lips

"Are you sure you want to do this Bella? We could find some other way."

"Edward, there is no other way. I need to do this to keep them safe." There was a little quiver to my voice, I wasn't sure he was going to believe that this was what I truly wanted. But if I showed any sort of doubt even the littlest then he would stop all of this and we wouldn't go through with it, but deep down I knew we had to.

The Cullen's were all in the living room, I knew they had heard mine and Edward's conversation because they were already sorting out the details.

"Let me introduce you to everyone Bella." Edward smiled at me and wrapped his arm around my waist; he must have seen how uncomfortable I was.

"Carlisle, you've met." He gestured towards Carlisle who gave me an openly friendly smile which I gave in return

"This is Esme, my mother for all intents and purposes."

"Hello, Bella." She gave me a warm smile, dimples showing in her heart shaped face. She was slender but rounded and soft. Her hair a caramel colour styled so that it was reminiscent of the silent movie era. She was the only one in the family that I hadn't seen before, but she was just as beautiful as the others.

"This is Emmett and Rosalie." Edward turned me to the left towards where they were standing; I had a faint recognition of them as I had seen them on my very first and last day at Forks high school. Rosalie was exceptionally beautiful, even for a vampire. She was tall, statuesque and had long wavy blonde hair. Emmett was just as tall as Rosalie but he was extremely muscular, he had short curly black hair and dimpled cheeks. He had the cheekiest grin on his face.

"Hey Bella, how's it going?"

"This is Alice and Jasper, Alice you've already met." Jasper was tall with honey blonde hair that flopped in front of his face. He was muscular but lean at the same time, as I looked at him I noticed his arms were covered in half crescent shaped scars which resembled the one I had on my wrist. Had Jasper been bitten like I had. Jasper smiled at me, I smiled back at him. Everyone was so warm and friendly. I couldn't have asked for a better family to enter into.

Alice walked to my side and squeezed my hand, I truly felt at ease with her.

"No need to worry Bella, I can see it all working out for the best."

"What do you mean, Alice?" I saw her glance in Edward's direction and I caught a look between them, a look from Edward that said to Alice to be careful with what she said. It was so easy to pick up on things now that I wasn't human; my instincts were so sharp that I didn't think anything could be hidden from me, my senses just sort of took over.

"Has Edward not told you about me or him for that matter?" Still holding my hand in hers she walked me over to the couch and we both sat down with elegance. I found it strange how I moved now and how easily I found it. Each movement flowing effortlessly into the other.

"No, Alice he hasn't." I gave Edward a sharp look, what had he been keeping from me, what wasn't he telling me?

"Care to enlighten me?" I asked her, even though I could tell she was eager to tell me.

She smiled and then started explaining,

"Well Bella, some of us have special abilities. I for instance can see the future, though it's very subjective and I can only see the future of the course the person is on now, if they change their course then their future changes."

I processed this new information, if Alice had the ability to see the future then why didn't she stop Edward from biting me, she could have stopped this from happening and we wouldn't have had to put Charlie and Renée through all this.

"I know what you're thinking Bella, but I couldn't have stopped Edward. I'm sorry, I wish for your sake that I could have but he made the split decision, he didn't plan what happened. When I did see though, we all came to help you, to help him. I just hope you don't blame me."

I remembered hearing a version of this while I was burning, Carlisle explaining it to Edward. This wasn't Alice's fault, this wasn't anyone's fault. This was just something that happened and nothing was going to change that.

"No Alice of course I don't blame you, you did everything you could and I'm grateful for everything. I'm grateful to everyone for being so welcoming." I looked around at all the faces in the room; everyone had greeted me with open arms, all so accepting of me. I felt like I fitted in here, like this was the place I was meant to be. I was overwhelmed with gratitude.

"Edward has an ability too." Alice stated

I wondered what Edward could do, I was curious. Why hadn't he told me? I looked up at him waiting for him to tell me himself.

"He can read minds." Alice uttered sounding a little irritated at her brother's lack of promptness.

Edward can read minds, oh no. Had he heard everything I'd been thinking, does he know that I'm not completely happy about him changing me the way he did or the fact I have to tell my parents that I'm dead. Is he hearing exactly what I'm thinking now? I looked at him again, his expression hadn't changed. He didn't look like he knew what I was thinking, because if he did I would have thought that some emotion would cross his face. He must have seen the worried look on mine because he smiled at me

"Don't worry Bella; I don't seem to be able to read your mind. I couldn't when you were human and I can't now." I got the feeling that this annoyed him, and that he wished he could read my thoughts this brought a smile to my face.

"You're the only person I've ever met who I can't read their thoughts, it's very frustrating." This little fact just reinforced the whole idea that me and Edward were meant to be together. I being the only one immune to his power meant that we could be together like any normal couple. It wouldn't be right if he could hear everything I was thinking, we wouldn't be able to live together. This just strengthened the bond we had, I couldn't stop smiling.

**Please review, sorry for the long wait just been planning how the story will go. Let me know what you think so far. Thanks :)**


	10. Chapter 3 part 4

"For a new born you seem to be able to control yourself very well Bella, I'm impressed." Jasper commented with a smile. I didn't realise I wasn't acting the way every other new born acted. I wondered what I was doing differently.

"What do you mean?" I asked

"Well Bella, normally a new born struggle's to control their thirst. All they desire is human blood and would do anything to quench the hunger. For the first year they are incredibly strong and their need to feed brings a more animalistic and wild side to their nature, they are uncontrollable. Secondary emotions lay dormant for a while, and slowly resurface over time. But you Bella, you seem to be able to cut off a single emotion while it's occurring, you are able to think and put into perspective everything that is happening around you. You aren't showing the qualities of a new born at all, but more of a 100 year old vampire that's taught itself how to control their thirst. It's very fascinating."

I didn't realise that was how I was supposed to behave, I was glad that it was different for me though. I'm glad I felt like myself and had all the same thoughts and emotions I did before I was changed. The thought of me being a wild uncontrollable animal did not appeal to me at all.

"I'm not even sure she is a new born, she's so tame." Emmett's cheeky grin caught my eye

"Emmett, don't antagonize her. She's the strongest one in the house." Edward stated with a chuckle

"Please." Emmett cracked his knuckles, I was intrigued. Was I truly stronger than Emmett he looked huge surely this wasn't true.

"Come, let's test out your new found strength." Edward smiled at me with warm eyes; I could see this was as much fun for him as it was for me. He led me out the back door and down the steps to the edge of the forest.

"It will be fun to see Emmett loose at an arm wrestling match; it's been nearly a century of him never being beaten, it would be nice to wipe that smirk of his face."

"Yeah, yeah. It's not going to happen, Edward." Emmett said as he picked up an enormous rock like it was not much heavier than a pebble. No way was I going to be able to beat him.

Emmett placed the rock in front of me and we both positioned our self at opposite ends. We took hold of each other hands and put our remaining hands behind our back. I was excited to see what it would feel like to test my strength, if it was true what everyone was saying then I should beat Emmett hands down.

"Don't hurt yourself, Emmett." Edward's words make me smile

"Alright, on three. One, two, three." As Jaspers words left his mouth I felt the slightest tingle in my wrist, the littlest of pressure, I watched as Emmett tried with all his might to push my hand down into the rock, but it wasn't budging. I wasn't feeling any discomfort from the force he was imposing on me, it felt rather good. To flex my muscles and see how far I could push them. I paused for a second longer and then with ease I pushed Emmett's hand into the rock below. The edge where his hand landed crumbled and fell to the floor. Everyone clapped, I turned to Edward

"Did you see that?" I was amazed. I was strong, I could beat Emmett. I punched at the rock in front of me; pieces flew off and crumbled under the pressure.

"Give it a year and I'll be the strongest one in the house again." Emmett assured.

As everyone else wandered back into the house Edward and I hung back.

"You are so amazing, I am genuinely lucky to have you. You have taken all of this in your stride and I don't deserve any of it, I don't deserve you. You have been so exceptionally forgiving and I couldn't be happier now that I have you in my life. You are my life now." Edward said the words with such sincerity that the love I had for him grew just slightly; I don't think I would ever stop loving Edward. The love I had for him would continue to grow and expand.

"For always and forever." I declared, he smiled that perfect smile

"For always and forever."

**Please review, I always love reading what others think of my story :) Thanks.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any characters associated with the Twilight saga. This is my own story based on the characters created by Stephanie Meyer who owns said characters.**


	11. Chapter 4 part 1

"Everything's set in place; do you know what you have to do Bella?" Carlisle asked as he returned home with Emmett and Alice. I remembered the conversation he, Edward and I had about what needed to be done. They'd come across the accident, and then break the news to Charlie. I'd have to stay at the Cullen's and not let anyone see me. After the funeral and everything had died down then we would be leaving. It sounded easy enough, but I felt bad that because of me the Cullen's would have to leave so I pulled Edward to one side to ask him something

"Edward you know how I feel about your family having to leave because of me, so I was wondering why don't you and I just leave together, go off on our own, just for a little while?" I watched Edward as my words sank in. His eyes were wild, and a cheerful smile played across his lips

"Oh, Bella you always seem to surprise me, I'm always underestimating you. If I thought for a second that you would want to spend the time with me alone then of course I would have suggested it to you myself. But I thought you'd prefer to be with the whole family as you must still have a lot of questions and I don't fully believe that you aren't still a little afraid of me, and I don't blame you."

"Edward, please. How many times am I going to have to tell you that I'm not afraid of you? I never have been and I never will. I just didn't think that you'd want to spend the time with me alone, that's all. But if we can save your family from relocating and disrupting their lives even more than we already have then we should do it."

Edward's hand reached up and touched my face, his thumb traced along my cheek bone. His touch was warm and I melted. Even though I hadn't known Edward very long the bond between us had been instantaneous, if anything it was just growing stronger every single day. The time away from his family, together, was just what we needed. We would have to go somewhere where we could be ourselves and not have to hide. Somewhere I could learn how to hunt and experience everything there was to know about being a vampire. And to do all that with Edward would be wonderful. Our lips touched and I felt the need he had for me, the want in his eyes. I was exactly where I was supposed to be, here in Edward's arms.

"I won't be gone long." Edward said as he and Carlisle got into his Mercedes, it hadn't fully sunk in yet, the fact that they were going off to tell Charlie that they had found my body and that I was dead. I knew this was going to hurt Charlie so much but I knew I needed to do this, to keep him safe. I tried not to think too much about it. Alice was there at my side to help me through it, and to stop me running over to Charlie's and just telling him everything. How were the Volturi going to find out that he knew about the existence of vampires, why would they even come to Forks? Edward said they never left the safety of Volterra. Surely we could just let Charlie know so that he could be in my life.

"Bella I know what you're thinking and I am sorry. I wish it could be that way but we can't tell him, it's too dangerous. You wouldn't want anything bad to happen to him would you; it's for his own safety." He moved quickly out of the car and was at my side in a tenth of a second, reassuring me with a kiss.

"Don't worry, I am here for you. Once this is over you and I will go somewhere. Together. Bella I swear to you that I will do whatever it takes to make you happy again." And with those words Edward was back in the car and Carlisle was reversing it out of the garage, I watched as they left to destroy my father's life.

"He what?" I couldn't quite fathom what was being told to me, why would he want that? Did he not believe Carlisle and Edward?

"Bella, its' perfectly understandable Charlie needs closure, he needs to see you before he can truly let go." Carlisle's words hung in the air.

But why, surely he would want to remember me alive and happy, not stone cold and lifeless. I always wondered why people would choose to have an open casket at funerals; I never understood it and I certainly didn't now. And anyway there was no way I could do it; I couldn't just lie there while I heard the sobs of my parents as they leaned over my dead body. What if my thirst took hold of me and I ended up doing something terrible. I know that up until now I have been able to control my thirst, push it to the back of my brain and think around it, but could I do that when I was put under that sort of pressure.

"I can't do it, I won't. Can't you change his mind? Talk him out of it, please Carlisle!" My voice was strained, not only did I have to listen to Carlisle describe the events that had just taken place between him, Edward and Charlie but now I had to endure the fact that I might have to attend my own funeral. It was too much. I never asked for this, I didn't know about any of this before three days ago and if I did I don't know whether I would have chosen to do this willingly. This just wasn't normal, but I wasn't normal anymore in the human sense anyway.

All I knew was that we needed to talk Charlie out of wanting to see my body because there was no way I would be able to go through with it. I was questioning everything, should we have told Charlie I was dead, maybe I should have just tried to go back to the way things were, try to blend in again. But I had changed not just mentally but physically, there was no way Charlie wouldn't have noticed the difference. Then he would start asking questions and what would I of said to him, the truth, I didn't think so. My mind was swirling with every little bit of information Carlisle had given me. I had to find a way to change Charlie's mind, and fast.

**Please review and let me know what you think, sorry for the long delay in posting I will be quicker next time :)**


	12. Chapter 4 part 2

I watched as Carlisle drove away from the Cullen house towards my fathers, I had pleaded with him to talk to Charlie and try to change his mind, Carlisle was compassionate and I knew Charlie would listen to him. But I also knew from what Edward had told me of my father, when they broke the news, was that he struggled to understand what had happened to me. Edward said that he was suffering and felt guilty for letting me leave and not going after me. I didn't know what was the right thing to do, I was struggling myself to come to terms with what had happened. Everything was happening just too fast for me to keep up with.

I felt drained, not physically as I found out that would never happen and that we would never need sleep or any form of rest, but emotionally. This was a lot to deal with and my mind was exhausted. What if Charlie couldn't be swayed and he needed to have an open casket, could I if I had to, be able to deal with that. Could I just lie there for their sake? Could I do it for them? I would need to test myself first, see whether I could ignore the scent of human blood and control my thirst. But there was no one to test it on, I didn't want any human being to be put at risk, what if my urges took hold, none of the Cullen's could hold me back, no one could stop me, not even Edward. I was the strongest one in the house.

"We will figure it out Bella, please don't worry yourself too much" Esme put her hand on my shoulder to comfort me, I didn't know whether it was her words or just her motherly affection but I suddenly felt calmer and like everything was going to work out for the best, I saw Jasper in the corner of my eye watching me.

"Thank you Esme, I know your right. I'm sure it will all turn out ok" As everyone saw and heard the complete change in my mood and the atmosphere in the room they all turned to Jasper and looked at him. I had no idea why they were staring at him, it was me who just said those words wasn't it. Edward turned back to me and came to sit at my side on the couch; I looked at him and waited for an explanation.

"Bella it seems that Jasper has been using his ability on you, to help you." His crooked smile brought butterflies to my stomach,

"What ability is that?" I asked

"Jasper has the ability to control the emotions of others around him" Edward stated

Oh, so that was while I felt so calm, it wasn't real it was just something that Jasper was doing to me. I didn't mind though it was a relief not to have to think about it too much anymore. It was nice to have a break from worrying. I smiled at Jasper; he was just trying to help. It was nice of him to do so.

"Thanks Jasper." He returned my smile.

"It won't be long now and Carlisle will be home and we can talk about options" Edward reached over and took both my hands in his, we looked into each other's eyes for what seemed like forever and then I heard the car turn off the freeway down the Cullen's drive. I knew it was Carlisle as I couldn't hear a heartbeat anywhere in the vicinity. Edward and I got up and went outside to meet him, I was eager to find out what Charlie had decided to do.

When Carlisle opened the door to his Mercedes I knew it was bad news, Edward was two steps ahead of me and was over at Carlisle before I was.

"So he's decided to go with the open coffin? Carlisle isn't there another way. Bella won't be able to go through with it, she shouldn't have to."

"Sorry Edward, I did all I could."

"I know you did, it's not your fault Carlisle, it's mine and I need to find a way to fix this." I'd never seen Edward like this, his expression was pained and he looked disheartened. I didn't like seeing him like this at all.

"It's ok Edward, I can do this." The words left my mouth before I even thought of them but as they did I knew they were the truth. I needed to do this, for my parents and for Edward.

"Bella, you shouldn't have to. This is all my fault if I wasn't so weak then this would never have happened. If only I controlled myself then we wouldn't be in this mess." I rushed over to Edward to soothe him, was he always this intense and self-deprecating. Was he ever happy?

"I'm sorry, Bella. I know you don't deserve this, I will try to be positive for you, all I want is for you to be happy. Forgive me?"

"Of course I forgive you, Edward. But there's nothing to forgive anyhow, I just want you to be happy too." His answering smile warmed my cold heart.

Edward and I sat close together in the sitting room and the rest of Edward's family were scattered about the house, I wondered how they felt having no privacy what so ever, with all of us able to hear what the others were doing and saying and with Edward able to hear your thoughts and Jasper able to feel what you felt it must be hard to stay together in one house. I suppose they've had years to get used to it, and I'm sure I could do the same.

With Jasper out of the vicinity I could feel the worry and apprehension creep back up on me, I needed something to take my mind of it all.

"How about a bath?" I looked at Edward

"Are you sure you can't read my mind?" I asked.

"I wish." Even though he couldn't physically read my mind he seemed to know exactly what I was thinking, was it so obvious on my face.

As I lay in the bath I overheard Edward and Carlisle's conversation

"Now that Charlie knows about Bella's death it's only a matter of time before the Quileutes find out too and I'm sure they won't be satisfied with the explanation we have given them, especially with us being involved." Carlisle's words shocked me, what did the Quileutes have to do with this, did they know about the Cullen's?

"I've been listening in on Billy Black and the elders, and your right, there suspicious but we knew they would be, but we can't let anything happen. It's another reason why we need to leave." They were suspicious, suspicious about what? Did they know I was now a vampire? Were they going to tell Charlie?

"Now that the treaty is broken we don't want a full on war to break out, that would mean lives lost on both sides and we don't want that." War what was Carlisle saying, surely there was no way the Quileutes could win against the Cullen's or even harm them. I didn't quite understand. I needed answers.

**Please review and let me know what you think, I'm not sure if I should continue with this story or not**.


	13. Chapter 4 part 3

"The moment Edward bit you the treaty was void, we hoped that we could leave before the Quileutes could get suspicious but with your father needing to see you it's all turned a little complicated."

"It's nothing you need to worry about, Bella. We have it sorted" Edward interjected

"Edward I heard what you and Carlisle were saying before, about a war. I'm not stupid, you need to tell me the truth and stop trying to protect me. This is my life we are talking about." I knew I was being a bit over the top but I needed Edward to see that I was involved in this now, I was a part of his family and I cared for them as much as he did. If there was going to be a war then I was going to fight, I'd do anything to help the Cullens.

"It won't turn in to a war, Bella" Edward stated

I ignored Edward and turned to Carlisle

"Why did you even make a treaty with the Quileutes, I don't understand"

"Well Bella, this isn't the first time we've lived in Forks, around 1936 we came here as we found it to have the most suitable weather conditions and appropriate food source that we needed for a permanent residence. We didn't realise there were areas around Forks that were claimed and protected by the Quileutes, but when they found us hunting on their lands we told them we were different from the others and only hunted animals. We made a treaty with them; if we promised to stay off Quileute lands then they wouldn't expose what we really were to the humans." Carlisle's words sank in, but why did it matter that Edward bit me I wasn't on Quileute land

"A part of the treaty was that none of us were allowed to bite a human, whether by choice or not because if we did, then they would attack us to protect their tribe and the people in Forks." Jasper added.

"Protect them how? They are only human." I asked, as none of this was making sense. The Quileute could of course ask the Cullens not to hunt on their lands but there was no why they could enforce the treaty if it was broken, humans can't kill vampires.

"Certain members of the Quileute tribe are shape shifters Bella, we don't know much about them but we do know that they turn into wolfs whenever they need to defend their land. Through their legends we found that this was brought on by the presence of vampires. They are purely designed to kill our kind; it's what they are born to do."

"Shape shift into wolfs…." I couldn't quite believe it

"Does Charlie know?" if he did and was ok with it then maybe he would be ok with the fact that I was now changed too and was a different kind of mythical creature.

"From what we found out he does not, the only people who know are the Quileute elders. It's been a while since they've needed to protect the village from our kind but now that we are back we fear that others will soon transform into wolves and the legend will soon turn into reality." Carlisle looked worried for his family, he looked over at Esme and I saw the love between them. It was my fault they were in this mess, mine and Edwards and it was up to us to fix this. Maybe we could renegotiate the treaty, if we tell them it was just an accident and that I am okay with being changed then maybe they won't decide to fight the Cullens. It was a long shot but we had to try didn't we?

"Bella we don't have any time to talk to them now, we need to get you ready for the funeral" Alice's words quickly registered in my brain, we had less than 12 hours before the funeral. I hadn't tested my control yet but Carlisle had told me that if I didn't breathe I wouldn't be able to taste their scent and wouldn't want to feed. I knew it would be hard but I needed to do this, maybe this could convince the Quileutes that I was dead and they wouldn't think the treaty was broken.

Esme had been over to Charlie's to find him and Renee in tears, I struggled to here when she told me that Renee was absolutely heartbroken and she and Phil had separated. I knew it was just over the stress of losing me and that she would get back with him after the funeral, when she had moved back home but it was hard to hear all the same

Alice had set aside some clothes for me to wear, a royal blue dress that fitted exceptionally well and contrasted perfectly against my flawless pale skin, but what did it matter, I'd be lying in a coffin. Which even under the circumstances was kind of ironic, if anyone told me a week ago that I would turn into the un dead and have to pretend to my family that I had passed away I would have thought they were crazy. If only Alice had seen what would happen, she could have stopped all this. I knew that there was a better way for me to be with Edward. But that was another life.

**Please review and let me know what you think, I know its getting rather boring but there will be some action in the next few chapters just got to set up the scenes. Thanks for sticking by me. Please review :)**


	14. Chapter 5

To my surprise Esme had somehow managed to persuade Charlie and Renée to have the funeral service at the Cullens place, listing off all the benefits for it being there to me I just didn't get it. The Cullens were nothing to my parents; they must have been completely grief stricken to go along with it.

But I did have to admit that it would make it easier for me, I was constantly thinking about how we were going to get away with it. But one of the benefits of it being at the Cullens was that not many of the Quileutes would be attending, knowing of the Cullens and what they were they wouldn't feel comfortable being in their home. Of what I heard the only Quileutes that were coming were the Blacks, Billy and Jacob.

As Jacob entered my mind I thought about that day when Charlie gave me my truck, if I had known then what I do now then everything would have been different. Even though Jacob and I hadn't managed to rekindle our friendship since we made mud pies together, a part of me felt sad that I wouldn't get a chance and have Jacob as a part of my life. Somehow I felt that we would have been close if given the opportunity but now me being what I was and him being a part of the Quileutes I knew it wasn't a possibility anymore.

Edward had told me that he wasn't a werewolf and I was grateful for that, Jacob didn't deserve to be something like that. He was innocent and pure; he and I would have definitely been close if given the chance. A part of me worried about that fact that he could become one of them in the future though, an enemy of the Vampire.

What would Jacob do if he found out Edward had bit me, would he and the other shape shifters stand against us? Could he do that to Charlie? I didn't myself think I could fight against Jacob but I would stand with Edward and his family if I had to, I would protect them.

As I stood in front of the mirror, staring into my own blood red eyes, _I don't think I'm ever going to get use to them _I thought, Edward entered the room. I watched his reflection as he approached me, he was so beautiful, I couldn't believe that he was all mine. His hands reached out for my waist and turned me so that I was facing him, we stared into each other's eyes, mine the fearful red his, a golden butterscotch.

"Bella I have no idea how you must be feeling right now, but I promise once this is all over we will be together. I will do whatever it takes to make you happy, as I am incredibly lucky that you have given me the opportunity to love you. Because Bella, that is what I am doing, I've never felt like this before about anyone. I love you Bella."

His right hand reached up towards my chin and as he pulled it slightly upwards I felt the electricity between us, as our lips touched I knew that all I wanted was Edward, I was in love with him and him me. I knew I was being selfish but all I wanted to do was go off with Edward alone forever. I knew my current actions were hurting my parents but it needed to be done, they couldn't be in this life I had now. As our kiss deepened our bodies pressed together, I reached up and wove my fingers through his hair. His left hand pressed firmly against my back not letting me move, but why would I want to move away from Edward, from my heaven? I was perfectly happy just being here. But alas this happiness could not last as we were interrupted by Edward's imperious sister, Alice.

"Excuse me Edward, but Bella needs to finish getting ready." Alice stated with a little annoyance

Our lips parted and Edward let out a sigh and slowly, almost reluctantly, let go of my body and placed me on the ground in front of him. I hadn't realised he had lifted me up while we were in our embrace.

"Alice you do seem to choose the most inappropriate times to interrupt people, is it one of your hidden talents?" Edward seemed a little irritated with his sister and I had to admit to myself that I too was a little annoyed with Alice. Edward and I have had hardly any alone time together and when we did it was short lived.

"I don't know what you mean, Edward. People are going to start to arrive any minute and Bella doesn't need any distractions, she needs to focus." Alice glared at Edward and I saw the littlest nod come from him and I assumed he was answering some unspoken question from her, probably about me.

Edward gave me the softest kiss on my lips and then left me to the devices of Alice.

"Right Bella, I see this all working out perfectly fine if you just don't let yourself get distracted and just focus on lying still and not breathing. I know it will be hard for you to hear Charlie and Renée at your side but you have to promise me not to do anything, do you promise Bella?"

Alice was rather annoying at times but she was very caring, especially towards me. I felt very grateful for her; she was only trying to help.

"Of course Alice, I won't do anything to make this whole situation any worse. I just want it over and done with."

"Good" said Alice as she grabbed my hand leading me to the window at the back of the house facing out towards the trees.

"We are going to have to leave through the window so that nobody will see us, the back reception room is where you will be, ermm lying for a while. We have the coffin all set out for you" she must have seen the expression on my face at the thought of having to actually lie in a coffin because she placed her hand on the top of my arm

"Don't worry Bella; you won't be stuck in there for two long. Just pretend you're lying in bed and that you're pretending to sleep, go to your happy place."

I was so caught up in the fact I would have to hear the sobs of my parents that I totally forgot I would actually be lying in my own coffin; I was kind of freaked out about it. I think anyone would be in that situation.

We both jumped out of the window easily and elegantly and walked around to the back door so not to meet anyone coming in from the front. Alice held my hand the whole way.

Carlisle and Edward were waiting in the 'coffin' room for the both of us, Edward gave me a small smile, but it didn't touch his eyes. I could see the guilt he was feeling. I knew he would be blaming himself for the fact I was having to go through this but it was necessary.

Alice helped me in my coffin and I lay there with my eyes open looking up at Edward. If I had to have my eyes closed for a few hours then the last thing I wanted to see was him.

"Bella, obviously you will need to keep your eyes closed and stay very still, but that should be easy for you. Also remember not to breath." Carlisle told me

"And go to your happy place, remember Bella." Alice added.

"Okay I think I'm ready."

"I love you Bella" Edward whispered in my ear

"I love you too Edward." I replied.

As I closed my eyes I went to my happy place, I shut off from the outside world, I didn't listen, I didn't breathe. All I did was picture Edward, the first time I saw him, the memory blurred as it was seen though human eyes. And then again in biology, I skipped over the image of him longing for my blood after he had bitten me. But I heard the words he said to me as I burned, his countless painful apologies. I thought about the first time I saw him with my vampire eyes, how crystal clear his beauty was, I lingered on his face. Then I remembered the feeling of him kissing me and touching me, I was definitely in my happy place.

**Please review and let me know what you think, your reviews are the only thing that keeps me going :) I like to hear you thoughts, whether good or bad. Thanks again for reading its much appreciated!**


	15. Chapter 5 part 2

"Jacob, calm down!" Edward's voice entered my subconscious and broke me from my happy place. I listened unmoving to what was happening around me

"I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't feel right" Jacob's voice was strained

"Jacob, son we need to leave" Billy's voice floated through the air as I heard the rubber of the wheels on his chair squeak as he manoeuvred towards Jacob

"She can't be dead, she can't!" I felt Jacob's warmth radiate from his body, his hot breath touched my face and I felt uneasy. I felt that he knew I wasn't dead, I felt his eyes on me. I didn't know what to do so I stayed very still and hoped for his sake that he would leave with his father.

Jacob grasped the edge of my coffin and I felt the bed beneath me shake, ripples were moving threw his body and traveling to the coffin and to me. What was going on, someone needed to do something, I was screaming in my head for Edward to go something. _Edward, get him away from me._

If he continued to put strain on the coffin and I could see it breaking, what was Jacob doing? Why was he getting this upset? We weren't even that close, for the first time since I met Edward I wished that he could read my mind

I heard footsteps approaching

"Come on Jacob, it's time for you to leave." Edwards's velvet voice was right next to me and all I wanted to do was open my eyes and have him hold me in his arms

"Get your hands off of me." Jacob's voice was alleviated and he was getting angrier by the minute, was this what Edward was talking about when explaining to me what happens when one of the Quileutes was about to change. Something would set them off, could be anything, the slightest thing and then the change would occur. Could that be what's happening to Jacob right now? He sounded angry enough.

"Jacob, please son" Billy's voice was strained

"They've done something to her, dad, I know it!"

"Listen to your father, Jacob and just go" If I was watching this encounter now I would have bet money on the fact that both Edward and Jacob would have been giving each other looks that could kill, I also knew for a fact that I would have been, for a second, scared of Edward and what he could do.

New footsteps entered the room; I was guessing because of the raised voices, they trudged along, loudly and heavily. They were not footsteps of a vampire; they were footsteps of a human. I kept unmoving and didn't breathe.

"What's going on here?" My father's voice drifted through the air and my heart would have ached if it could of, all I wanted was to open my eyes and tell my father I was okay and that he didn't have to worry about me anymore, that I was safe and happy.

"Charlie, there's something not right here" Jacob stated

"You need to leave Jacob!"

"I'm not going anywhere Cullen, let go of me!"

That was it, I wasn't going to listen anymore, I opened my eyes just the slightest to watch what was happening. A part of me knew I shouldn't have done it but another part of me wanted to see my father as I didn't know when I would get another opportunity to do so.

Jacob tried to manoeuvre out of Edwards grasp but Edward wasn't letting go, I watched as my father tried to intercede, Jacob lashed out towards Edward but instead of hitting him he hit my father straight in the face, I heard his nose break the second Jacobs fist came into contact with it.

Then I smelt it, the blood…

**Author's notes: Sorry this chapter is so short I've just been busy. Please review and let me know what you think, also check out the trailer I made for this fan fiction on youtube, I'll post the link on my profile. Check it out and let me know what you think thanks :)**


	16. Chapter 5 part 3

A frenzy started to happen, my throat burned and air hissed through my clenched teeth, before I knew it I was sitting up in my coffin and zeroing in on the source of the glorious bouquet. I didn't see who it was; it didn't register in my brain that the man I was staring at hungrily was my father. All I longed for was to taste the wonderful blood that was pumping through his veins; the venom in my throat forced me out of my coffin. Hands wrapped around my shoulders from behind, holding me back from my prey. I let out a snarl

"Emmett, get over here" It didn't register with me who was speaking, the only thing that occupied my mind was the liquid I would soon be devouring.

As I saw Emmett approaching I pulled out of the hands that were holding me back, I broke away. But before I could get any closer to my target new hands were on me.

Someone stood in my way, why weren't they moving and letting me feed. A snarl rose up from my throat

"Bella, look at me. Come back to me Bella, this isn't you." A hand slowly reached out and touched my face, the thumb tracing along my cheek bone. I then looked into the eyes of my captive and saw Edward, his honey golden eyes pouring into mine, willing me to calm down and control myself. I immediately realised what I had done, I had jeopardised everything the Cullens had done for me, here I stood 'alive' and 'well' in front of my father, what was he to think of my actions, I had behaved appallingly. I had lied and cheated him and to top it all off I had even tried to kill him.

With all thoughts of the thirst locked away deep inside, due to the horror of my actions, I turned to Emmett who still had his arms wrapped around me

"Emmett, you can let go of me now, I'm fine, I'm in control." Emmett glanced over at Edward and I saw in my peripheral vision that Edward nodded to allow my release.

As he let go of my arms Edward leaned in and whispered in my ear

"You can do this Bella, I love you, Just don't breathe." His breath flowed around my face and I court the scent of him which would have made my blood boil if I had any left in my body.

As Edward moved away from me and stood at my side, my father came into view. This time I looked at him without the venom and thirst clouding my vision, this time I saw my father and my heart ached.

The face looking back at me was not something I ever wished to see from my father, a look of horror and disgust played out on his features. He was revolted, disgusted, sickened at the sight of me, in that moment I knew that he would have preferred me dead than to be what I was. I just knew it. I had let him down, broken the trust we had between us and I knew there was no way things would ever go back to the way they were. In his eyes I was no longer his daughter.

"Bells, is that you?" Charlie's voice was gruff as he tried to hold back the shock and surprise he now felt being faced with me

"Yes, dad it's me" I didn't know what else to say, I hadn't planned on facing my father. I hadn't planned on seeing him ever again but as I saw the others in the room, Edward, Emmett, Carlisle, Billy and Jacob I immediately felt uneasy and uncomfortable. Our reunion had its own audience which didn't help the situation at all

"I can't believe you've done this to Charlie, you filthy bloodsucker" Jacob spat the words at Edward, glaring at him

I glanced over at him and noticed the ripples running through his body, his hands were clenched into fists

"Calm down, Jake. This isn't Edwards fault"

"Don't tell me to calm down Bella, I see what you are, what you've become. It's disgusting!" Jacob glowered at me with revulsion on his face and I recoiled from his harsh glare and harsh words.

"Don't take this out on Bella, Jacob she didn't choose this. I think it's time for you to leave." Edward paced his arm across me as to protect me from Jacob's angry outburst

"I'm not going anywhere, I'm here for Charlie!" Both Jacob and I looked at Charlie, Jacob wanting some reassurance that he should be here and I wanting Charlie to snap out of his sudden stupor.

We both waited for Charlie to say something, anything.

About a hundred beats later Charlie managed to let out a few words

"Jake, I'm okay here. Maybe you should go."

"But Charlie, it's not safe for you here, do you not know what THEY are?" Jacob snide comment hit a nerve, I knew that I had lost control before but that would never happen again, I would never willingly hurt my father. And none of the Cullens would hurt him, they weren't like the others.

Charlie cleared his throat "Its okay Jake, I don't want to make this any harder than it has to be."

"Charlie doesn't want you here Jacob and neither does Bella, so if you don't leave willingly then we will make you leave." Edwards words were menacing but I could see why he was behaving the way he was, he was annoyed with Jacob probably as much as I was with him. Jacob didn't need to be here, it was his fault I had gone for Charlie. If he was able to control his anger then we wouldn't be where we were, I wouldn't be standing here and Charlie wouldn't have found out about me.

With no sigh of Jacob moving Emmett stepped forward and placed his hand on Jacobs arm to try and usher him away but Jacob wasn't having it, his body started to shake uncontrollably. Only then did I see that Jacob was tremendously toned and muscular since last I saw him, he seemed to have lost the hint of childish roundness that had been playing on his face as now his features were all screwed up as he tried unsuccessfully to control his anger.

"Get off me" Jacob stepped back.

Then Jacob wasn't Jacob anymore. My hand flew up to my mouth as I let out a gasp. Pieces of clothing floated through the air and in front of us stood a 6ft tall wolf that towered over all of us; it let out a snarl through its sharp teeth. The wolf had reddish brown fur and deep black eyes and as I looked into them I could see they were Jacobs, this was Jacob standing in front of us? He had changed and had turned, something I wished he wouldn't have had to go through. As I stared at Jacob with an open mouth I saw the confusion in his eyes, he flayed around not quite understanding what had just happened to him. Had no one told him what to expect? I saw the anguish in his eyes and for the first time since I'd seen him I felt sorry for him, my hand reached out towards him but he was already off, running out of the back door as fast as he could.

"Jake!" I shouted

"Let him go, he needs to figure this out on his own" Edward said as I tried to go after him.

"But he doesn't understand, we made him change, we've done this to him."

"Bella, this was nothing to do with us, it was up to him to control himself. It was only a matter of time before it would happen, maybe its best this way." As Edward said those last words a howl could be heard from the distance.

**Authors notes: Hey guys, thanks for reading. Please review and let me know what you think of this chapter, I like to hear your thoughts and feelings :) thanks again, much appreciated :)**


	17. Chapter 5 part 4

Charlie had needed a few minutes to take everything in, which was understandable; moments ago he believed his daughter was dead but now here I was standing in front of him. And to our shock and disbelief Jacob, someone both of us had known for most of his life, had just turned into a monstrous wolf. We watched and waited as Charlie tried to process what had just happened,

"Let's give her some privacy" Edward said

Slowly the others left us alone till only Charlie and I were left in the 'coffin room'. Charlie shifted from one foot to the other and cleared his throat, only then did I realise that I had been standing to still for too long so I slowly walked over to the window

"Jacob said that… that you were different right before he… Well what does he mean?" Charlie's voice was weary; I turned and looked at him

"I really think it would be better…" Charlie cut me off

"I wanna know what happened to you!" Charlie's voice was getting elevated as he interrupted me wanting to know the truth, but Charlie couldn't know the truth. He knew too much already, it wasn't safe for him.

"I can't tell you." I said, hoping that Charlie would just drop it so I didn't have to lie to him.

"I think I deserve an explanation, Bella." Charlie was right he did, but that was something I couldn't give to him

"You do, but if you really need one, then I can't stay here."

"Oh, come on! No! No more going away, I just got you back!" Charlie was angry, I could see it in his eyes that he was getting upset, but I couldn't blame him, for weeks he believed me dead and now he finds out that he's been deceived.

"Dad, you're just gonna have to trust that for whatever reason, I'm alright. I'm more than alright, Can you live with that?"

"Can I live with that? Well, I don't know, Bella. I mean, I just watched a kid I've known his entire life turn into a very large dog. My daughter looks like my daughter, but doesn't." He stopped as his emotions got the better of him, I could see the struggle he was under, it had always been hard for him to express his emotions.

I walked closer to him,

"Can you just believe that I will tell you anything that you need to know."

"And I don't need to know this?" He asked with an eyebrow raised

"No. Really, you don't." I knew Charlie was starting to understand that he would never truly know what had happened to me, not if he wanted me in his life

"Well, I'm not gonna lose you again. I can't."

"Then you won't, I promise." As I saw Charlie approaching I took in a deep breath, he held out his arms for an embrace, as I rested my head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me I knew that what he felt was not the norm, right now it would be like hugging a corpse which under the circumstances was kind of funny, a little smile played on my lips. I knew I was cold and hard as stone, but Charlie didn't let go of me, he still continued to hug me as he said

"I've missed you, Bells. So much."

I used the last of the air in my lungs to return his sentiment

"I've missed you, dad."

VV

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward approached me from behind as I looked out towards the forest, thirst playing on my mind, his velvet voice and concerning tone brought a smile to my face. I loved Edward for many reasons but one of the key things for me was his caring nature, he always seemed to put my feelings before his own and take it upon himself to make me happy and loved. I was truly lucky to have him.

"Thank you Edward, for everything!" I turned to look at him so I could stare into his dark honey eyes, his hands held me at my waist and as they did I felt the electricity flow between us. I reached up and touched his face,

"I don't know what I would have done without you Edward; you have been by my side through all of this, my rock, my soul. When I have needed you, you were there to listen, to talk, to console me and to help me through this transition. You have been my best friend and more and I am really lucky to have you. I love you with all my heart and more." I spoke the words to him straight from my heart and I saw the love he had for me in his eyes. And I too wished for him to see the love I had for him in mine.

We continued to look at each other for what seemed like forever. Edwards's lips parted as he went to break the silence between us but I stopped him, I didn't need to hear his response. I reached up; standing on my tippy toes, my lips touched his with the softest of touch and it took only seconds for him to pull me up into his arms and kiss me passionately. This was my heaven and now with everything that had happened there was no reason for us to part.

Author's notes: Sorry for the long delay, don't worry I'm still writing chapters for this story if there's still readers who want me to! Please review and let me know there are still followers for this story. I hope you like this end part of chapter 5 I'm just playing around with a few ideas in my head to see where this story is going to go. Thanks for reading and reviewing if you do :)


	18. Chapter 6

"Do you think we can trust the wolves?" Emmett asked aloud the underlying question we all had on our minds

"I'm not sure, now that Jacob knows about what Edward has done he's going to think the treaty is broken. I'm sure the elders will have something to say about it, but I'm not too sure there are other wolves around. Jacob is of course the Alpha by blood so it would make sense for him to change first." Carlisle pondered that thought

"He's just so young" Esme added

My thoughts turned to Jacob as a young boy, how carefree and cheerful he was, if I had ever known that this was going to happen to him I would have stayed away and not been friends with him. Of course we weren't the closest of friends but bringing him into this mythical world had only resulted in him becoming a different version of ourselves. Were we in danger, was Jacob going to attack us? Surely not, there would be no way he would win, him against the eight of us. It would be suicide.

"Maybe others have joined the pack, now that our family has grown" Jasper wondered, all of Edwards family turned their heads slightly in my direction. I felt uncomfortable at the thought of everyone blaming me for their sudden lack of safety in their home but then I thought that I hadn't even chosen this, not in this life time anyway. If anyone was to blame it would be Edward.

"If Edward was able to control himself, then none of this would have happened" Rosalie said with a sneer, I immediately felt bad for my earlier thought, now that Rosalie had said aloud my internal comment I realised that Edward wasn't to blame, I knew how hard it was to control yourself when human blood was present. And when Edward described to me that my blood sang to him I knew that it would have been a million times worse than anything I had ever experienced. If he managed to be around humans for so long and not feed, then he was allowed 'that' momentary lapse or slip up wasn't he? Rosalie shouldn't be so hard on him I thought.

"Rose, don't be so hard on Edward you know how tough it can be" Carlisle told her

Edward placed his hand on the small of my back; he must have noticed my sudden change in mood towards Rosalie from Jasper as he whispered in my ear so only I could hear,

"Ignore Rosalie, I always do"

I looked up at him, his honey golden eyes blazing into mine

"But she does have a point" He added "If I was able to control myself then none of this would have happened" I could see the sadness returning in this eyes. I thought he was over this, I thought he had stopped blaming himself for what happened. But clearly not.

"But then 'us' wouldn't have happened, Edward. Would you of preferred we not be in each other's lives? Do you not think this was meant to be?" My voice wavered just a little at my sudden insecurity. Edward had countless of times told me how he felt about me but was that just because 'this' had happened, if I was still human would we not have had a chance together? I hated feeling like this, feeling unsure about our relationship. Sometimes it felt like we were being forced together that we didn't truly choose to be in each other's lives. Maybe we should spend some time apart; maybe I should go back to living with Charlie, just for a little while so our relationship can grow naturally. Was that such a crazy idea?

I didn't give Edward chance to reply to my previous questions, I leaned in and whispered in his ear so only he could hear me.

"Edward, we need to talk….Now!"

I stood up and excused myself from the room muttering something about needing to hunt, I heard Edward follow close behind me. As I reached the back door that opened out towards the forest, I started to run, as fast as I could until I knew none of Edward's family would be able to hear us. As I ran a thought occurred to me that Alice would soon be seeing what I had decided and that she would surely be telling the rest of them my plans.

Even though I knew Edward could run faster than me he still stayed at least two feet behind me, I wondered how he was feeling and what he was thinking, I knew he would be annoyed that he couldn't read my mind and figure out what was going on and I knew I couldn't keep my feelings from him for too long so I started to slow and came to a stop close to the cliff edge. I looked out towards the ocean not able to turn and look at Edward being the coward that I was. I just knew that if I turned and looked at him, saw the beautiful planes and arches to his face, his beautiful lips, his gorgeous honey coloured eyes, then I would waver and change my mind. He always seemed to have that effect on me, he seemed to dazzle me and make me forget any rational thought I had.

"Bella what is it?" Edward's worry was apparent as he said those four words to me, I could feel his anguish as he walked towards me, he placed his hand on my shoulder to try and turn me to face him but I resisted.

I kept my back to him and walked a few spaces away, my mind was going a mile a minute I didn't quite know how to word what I was going to say next but I knew there wasn't a right way to word it so I just said what I was feeling

"Edward, I know it will be hard for you to understand but I need time to think. I need some time away from everything, it's all just been a bit much for me and I'm struggling to figure all this out. Everything now with Jacob and the Quileutes I just can't get my head around it all, so much has changed in the last few weeks…." I trailed off not knowing what else to say, I didn't want to hurt Edward but I knew I needed to do this for both him and me.

"Bella, I don't know who you think I am, but I understand. I'm not a monster; you've been through so much I'm surprised that you've lasted this long before you've needed a break from it all. But Bella we will go away, away from it all together, just you and…."

I swung round on my feet to face him

"No Edward! That's not what I mean" I paused not able to look at him as I continued "I need to get away from everyone Edward, and that includes you…."

**Authors notes: Hey guys, this is the start of Chapter 6 I hope you like it. Please review and let me know what you think :) Cheers x**


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